


The Power of Love

by manskylark



Category: Deadpool (Movieverse), Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel
Genre: Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Like, M/M, Really really bad, Schizophrenic Wade Wilson, Suicidal Wade Wilson, big softie piotr, but its wade so it.... doesnt stay, might be nsfw later, nega and yukio are dating!! but not super prevelent, not sure yet - Freeform, okie dokes, piotr is just a dad, wade is really bad at taking care of himself
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:42:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23165677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/manskylark/pseuds/manskylark
Summary: Universe deviation where Vanessa doesn't get revived.Wade was never very good at taking care of himself, and now that the one person that made him want to act like a functioning human being was gone, that lack of self care plummeted to a solid 0%. Knowing Vanessa would be pretty pissed at the state he let himself get to, Wade seeks out the one man who could help him the way he needs.A big, shiny, goody two shoes metal man, to be specific.
Relationships: Deadpool/Colossus, Piotr Rasputin/Wade Wilson
Comments: 17
Kudos: 104





	1. Let My Love Open The Door

It had been three months. Three months since he saved Russell and Cables family, three months since Cable saved him, three months since he's found a family. But it's been far longer since he’s been cared for. Really cared for. Strong hands feeding him soup, big, strong hands rubbing sweet smelling shampoo into his...scalp, big, strong, organic metal hands rubbing small circles into his back will the mouth connected to the head connected to the neck connected to the shoulder connected to the arm connected to the big, strong, loving, organic metal hands sings soft, sweet Russian lullabies. A big, strong, soft, loving, organic metal Russian man taking care of him as strongly and lovingly and Russianly as he could.

Wade still loves Vanessa. He loves Vanessa to Hell and back 20 times. And he knows Vanessa loves him just the same. That's why he knew she’d be okay with him seeking out someone to care for him. She knows he will still love her regardless. She would understand that he needed someone to care for him the way she did. And it seems like her last words to him meant she knew exactly who that person should be.

That's why he was now making his way to the X-Mansion from his shitty, still mostly burnt apartment, in the pouring rain, at 2 am. He wasn't particularly lonely per say. Russell, Domino, Cable, and him often got together, whether for crime fighting reasons or hanging out reasons. He spent a lot of time at the X-Mansion recently, too, Negasonic seeing him way more than she really wanted much to Yukio's delight. But when he wasn't with his new family he was incredibly depressed and, much like after Vanessa's passing, suicidal. It was never enough. No matter how much time he spent with them it was never enough. He needed more.

As he walked up the dirt road, the huge house looming overhead, thought of how he’d propose his request.

Hey, whatever X-Man who comes to the door and will probably punch him on sight, where's TinMans display case. 

Oh! Storm! Looking stunning as ever! Before you strike me with lightning can you give me directions to butch Mettaton's room?

Hey Toad, an X-Men the writer found while searching for X-Men to mention in this scene and thought sounded neat, ribbity ribbit and hop on over here so I can find my future metal husband. You weird motherfucker.

John Wraith! Portrayed my Will.I.Am! Please show me where the aluminum foil man is. Also, love your music, keep at it big guy.

Stepping up to the huge double doors, Wade slammed on the wood as hard as he could. He tapped his foot as he waited for some to answer, getting impatient after 5 seconds and started banging again, his right fist already growing sore with rapidly healing bruises. The longer he waited, though, the more he doubted his decision. 

It was very likely that Piotr would open the door, he was usually the only one regularly here, but it was even more likely that he would shut the door on Wade's ugly face and even uglier personality. Imagine the man that you’ve tried to help for years comes crawling to you in the pouring rain like a kicked dog and begs to be given, not even a second chance, a billionth chance. And don't even get him started on the appearance part!

As common as the trope of Deadpool finding himself absolutely hideous and disgusting in fanfiction is, we will still play on this insecurity due to the writers tendency to project on the characters he writes about. He found that his face was the face equivalent of a prolapsed anus. Wade knew he was ugly now. He knew the reason Vanessa didn't think so was because she already loved him. That doesn't get rid of the fact that, conventionally and according to social standards, Wade was ugly. And Piotr, well, Piotr was perfect. He was ranked 22nd in the list of Sexiest Men in Comics. And Bruce Wayne was on that list, so... 

Actually looking at this list it’s very, very inaccurate so scratch that mention.

Piotr was every macho man's wet dream. At times, when Colossus, his muscles were literal metal, and even when not activating his mutation (rarely mentioned in fanfiction-verse!) he still had the muscle density of a brick wall. Wade himself had a toned build, but it paled in comparison to his alloy ally. Men, women, and everyone beyond and between swoon at the sight of him, and probably swoon harder when they get a taste of his gentle disposition. Good ol’ Deadpool was no exception.

Compared to Wade, Piotr was like a God. Like Thors equally hot Russian cousin. Metal or flesh, the guy was handsome. All flesh, Wade wasn't. There's all this talk of acceptance for burn victims and those with disfigurations, but in the end society still makes them out to be creatures rather than humans. Wade doubted that Piotr could fully get through that stigma, mutant or not.

His thoughts were cut short when a big gleaming hunk of metal ripped open the doors. Perfect. Piotr looked down at him, the realization that it was Wade giving him the expression of biting into a moldy lemon.

“Wade, it is early morning, what could you possibly need right now that could not wait for later time?” He sounded like a mother that was woken from her afternoon nap. Despite all the time he had to think about what to say, Wade could only hang his mouth open in silent stupidity. Piotr let out a sigh and pulled him out of the rain, shutting the door after him. Now that his full body was in view Wade could see him pajamas. They were soft blue and had circus bears on them. Piotr noticed him staring. “Gift from Negasonic.”

Wade was snapped out of his dissociation. “And you actually wear them?”

“She would be sad if I didn't, I believe…” Piotr said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “They are surprisingly comfortable.” Letting out a chuckle Wade dragged his hands down his cheeks. How is this man even real… “Now what was it that you needed?”

“Oh, just wanted to drop by. No real reason. Just bored, y’know. Couldn't sleep. Apartment too cold. Rat infestation. Neighbors having loud, kinky sex. Too much for my little mind to process, much less sleep with.” He moved his hands as he explained, counting down on his fingers and motioning to his head, over exaggerated shrugging. Shaking his head, Piotr’s mouth twisted into a scowl.

“I have feeling you aren't telling whole truth. Or any truth. Please, Wade, you don't need to keep things from me.” He led Wade to a sitting room, setting himself down on an old, creaky couch. Begrudgingly, Wade sat down as well. “Now, please, tell me the truth.”

As much as he wanted to, in True Deadpool Fashion, continue to make jokes, he was desperately tired and desperately in need of care. “Ya-You got me. I love the cold, I brought in the rats, and all my neighbors are exhausted college virgins. The real reason is...fuck, it’s like… like Batman and Robin. Everytime one Robin leaves he just gets another fucking one. He doesn't care what orphan he picks off the street, he just needs one. Well, no, he probably cares about them. He does care about them, and when he doesn't have one it feels like there's something missing. 

“I mean, probably, haven't met the guy, different universe. But probably, since he keeps getting them. Y’know? Doesn't matter who, he just needs someone and the old butler just doesn't cut it anymore. But Dick Grayson just left and Jason Todd hasn't even thought of stealing the wheels off the Batmobile so he has no Robin…” Piotr looked at him with sad, albeit confused, eyes.

“Wade, I have no clue what you're talking about, but it sounds like you are lonely. If you would like to stay rest of night, you just had to say.” As he gave a sigh of relief, Wade looked down at his hands resting in his lap. He was forever grateful that despite being pretty out of the loop on everything else he says, the big guy had a good grasp on reading his emotions. Long winded and stupid DC analogies aside. 

“I promised I’d take care of you, so you are very welcome to stay in guest room for as long as you need.” Wait, no. No, no, no, no. Not a guest room. Wade's mind went red alert. Of course he’d offer a guest room. Why would you sleep in his room? You damn fool! Deadpool? More like Damnfool. Like hell Wade wasn't going to fight for the left side of Colossus’ presumably colossal bed though.

“Actually, I was wondering if there's the slightest, tiniest, ittiest bittiest, littlest chance I could maybe, possibly, perhaps, if likely-”

“Wade. Out with it.”

“-sleep with you.” The last part came out in a whisper, like Wade wasn't actually planning on saying it at all. 

He looked down again, his hands ten times more interesting than they were before. He picked at the scabs, a habit Vanessa had gotten him to stop, wishing he had come in his suit. Not only was he BooBoo the Clown, he was an ugly BooBoo the Clown. He was an idiot, a dummy idiot how should have stayed at home. 

“Not like, y’know, sleep sleep with, naughty little metal man, but just in your bed, very close to you. Unless you want the first one, then I won't object, just say the word and I’ll open for you like Jack to Ennis. But really I want the other one, the non-sexy one, just for the night. I won't even touch. Well, not while conscious. Well, actually, can't promise that either. But I will try as hard as I can. You can totally say no, too, this is your decis-”

“Wade, please, no more. I'm fine with the bed sharing, as long as you don't talk. Talking is for morning.” His eyes were wide and hopeful as Wade looked up, meeting Piotr’s soft smile and tired features.

“Talking’s for morning, got it. I will...wait till morning…to keep talking. No more talking,” Wade followed Pitor up a flight of stairs, presumidly to his room, “Talking is now no bueno until el sol is up en el cielo. Yessir, totally understand-”

“Wade.” Piotr said in a warning tone, stopping in front of an oak door.

Taking a deep sigh, Wade let out a “got it…” and made his way into the room. The bed was big. Really big. Like, fit an entire family big. And after plopping himself down on it Wade found it was heavenly soft and squishy, too. Starfishing not even half the entire thing he felt like he could fall asleep right there and then. If it weren't for Piotr's big, strong hands easily moving him to the left side. Sitting up in his new spot Wade found that the entire room was big, roughly the size of his whole apartment and perfectly befitting to its owner. Next to him the bed dipped, or rather canyoned, under Piotr's weight. He leaned over to pick up Wades legs, sliding the hastily replaced comforter out from under him and pulling his side over himself and made himself comfortable in a nanosecond.  
Wade followed suit, but after a minute had quickly made his way closer to the gentle giant, wiggling his way under his massive arm. Whether out of exhaustion or indifference, Piotr actually lifted his arm to allow Wade an easier access. He supposed if this was the kind of touching Wade was talking about then he didn’t really mind that.

That was, until a certain hand started making its way lower…


	2. Sweet Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> im sorry for switching between colossus and piotr, soon ill just use piotr its just....idk it doesnt feel right just yet
> 
> not as funny as the first chapt 😔

To say Piotr woke up annoyed was an understatement. Training has been completely in the afternoon lately, about every other day, and after the big Russell/Cable debacle the crime was at local police level management, so although he still woke up at 6:30 every morning, there wasn't any rush. But to have a foot in his face that smelt as bad as a dumpster, a stream of sunlight that seemed to just be shining in his eyes only, a knocking at the door that sounded like pounding to his half-asleep ears, and an alarm that was seemingly louder than usual to wake up to immediately put him in a not-so-great mood. 

He moved Wades foot off his face first, then continued to reach over to turn off his alarm. Pushing all 500 lbs of himself off the bed he made his way to the door. After opening it he was met with an erratic but relieved Ellie.

"Finally, I thought you, like, rusted over or something. I wanted to ask if you could make that Russian breakfast thing? The one you used to make…a few years...ago..." Her eyes trailed to the Wade sized lump on his bed. "Did you have someone stay the night or...?"

"Is Wade. Came to Mansion 2 am in pouring rain. Asked to stay night. Give me time to brush teeth and change, will be down in few minutes to make breakfast." Piotr was giving her a look that said 'there’s nothing going on' so she gave a quick nod before heading back downstairs. He gently shut the door and turned to do his tasks.

Making his way to his small bathroom he began 'demetalling', the act of brushing teeth really having no effect if your mouth is 100% titanium. Remetalling, he came back into the main room to pick out an outfit for the day. Joggers and an old graphic tee. Casual, but not lazy. He gave one final look back to Wade, who was still snoring into a memory foam pillow at the foot of his bed, and started down the stairs.

-

To say Wade woke up refreshed was an understatement. Sure, he only got his regualar 2 uneasy hours of sleep, but holy fuck this bed! His bed back home was comfortable, don’t get him wrong, but Piotrs bed was like Heaven in a 5’ by 9’ rectangle. He had around 30 pillows, each squishier than the last, 2 weighted blankets that felt like a hug from a giant puppy, and a comforter that was so soft Wade swore it was made from the wool of a year old lamb. Not to mention it smelt amazing. Sweet and flowery with just a hint of metal. Like a rose bed planted on top of a multi million dollars worth silver deposit. 

“Watch out, little ol’ Ms. Jones, your petunias are going to be ripped apart in the name of capitalism!” Wade hoisted himself off the bed, stopping a minute before stumbling to the floor and towards the closet. “Actually, you wouldn’t be able to smell silver deposit, since the metallic-y scent comes from your finger oils coming in cont- you know what? Forget it.” Hands on his hips, he surveyed his options.

His current outfit, something he had been wearing for a week, started smelling so bad even he couldn’t handle it anymore. And if he was going to stay here any longer he decided it’d be best to change out of it. Don't want to run into any X-people with sensitive noses or quick trigger tempers, now. Deciding on a worn grandpa sweater, a pair of sweats that had to have the drawstrings tied so tight they could hold Juggernaut (for at least a nanosecond), and some boxers he had dug up from the very bottom of the GBF’s delicates drawer that hadn’t gotten around to being donated to impoverished children with huge butts yet. After a shower and a few safety pins Wade was ready to face the day.

Opening the oak doors he was greeted with even more amazing smells. Although it was well past 9, someone was still making breakfast. He floated downstairs towards the kitchen, metaphorically or literally depending on how the reader feels about fucking the laws of physics and gravity in Deadpool media. Rounding the corner, he found a very domestic sight to match the smells. Piotr in a, believe it or not, baby blue, frill edged, polka dot apron tending to some Gordon Ramsay bullshit in a pan, while a tired Yukio, a rarely happy Ellie, and a surprisingly present Kitty Pryde sat at the island, tucking into their respective plates. Yukio was the first to notice him and reacted appropriately.

“Hi, Wade!” Her cheery voice rang out, her sleepiness subsiding for a moment. Wade gave her a bright smile and an enthusiastic wave.

“Hi, Yukio!” Ellie looked up next, her happiness subsiding as well. She gave him a quick glance over, both articles of clothing having been something Piotr wore just last week. Yukio noticed, too, remembering complementing that exact sweater. 

“Nice outfit,” Yukio added on, letting out a giggle. Kitty looked up, and then immediately got up. Gently placing her plate in the sink she left with a “aaand I'm out.”

Piotr looked to him last, his eyebrows meeting his hairline as he noticed Wades...familiar attire. “Exactly why are you wearing my clothes.”

“I only brought the one outfit and didn't want to smell completely like a rotting dumpster today. You don't mind, do you?”

Piotr let out a sigh and turned back to the stove. “No, it's fine. We will go to your apartment later in day, to pick up clothing.”

“Wait, how long is this hoser staying?” Ellie interjected. She's gotten used to Wade, sure, and to say they weren't friends was a big, fat lie, but there was only so much of him she could take.

“Oh, about 20, 30 years. No longer than 40, though. By age 60 I want to be retired to the Filipino countryside with my young, male lover and his adventurous and artistic girlfriend who I don't exactly like but put up with. But as my male lover turns more violent and quick to anger we form a bond, formulating a plan to get rid of him. But then the day he finally dares to lay a hand on her we throw out the plan and escape to Romania, living out our lives there.”

Ellie gives him her signature bitch face, uninterested in the little story.

“Two weeks tops.”

“I can handle that. C’mon Yuki, let's get going, we've got training.” Ellie gets off her stool and offers a hand to Yukio as she gets hers, and they walk out the back door together.

“Bye Wade!” Yukio calls out, waving with the hand that isn't being held.

“Bye, Yukio!” Wade called back, settling himself on one of the barstools. He watched as Colossus began cleaning the kitchen up, placing pots and pans under running water and organizing plates and utensils in the dishwasher. It was amusing, watching such a big man carefully move around the space with porcelain plates and glass cups. After a few minutes he turned towards Wade, presumably to wash the countertop from the wet soapy rag in his hand, and was startled to see that the other man didn’t have food set out in front of him.

“You’re not going to eat?” Colossus asked, cautious eyes trained on him as he began to wipe down the crumb covered marble.

“Nah, not hungry,” Wade replied bluntly, watching him slide the rag across the surface. Wade hadn’t wiped anything down in a while and forgot how satisfying it was. Colossus didn’t say anything else, only making a small sound and returning to his house work. Content on watching the big metal man act the role of house husband, Wade got himself comfortable on the small stool, only getting up once to get a juice box. Wade didn’t think it’d be this entertaining to watch a person clean a seemingly already spotless area, but Colossus’ little concertation faces and huffs of satisfaction made it worth the while. 

Every so often other X-Men would walk through while he cleaned, the younger ones looking at Wade with wary eyes, but the more grizzled members didn’t even bother giving him an initial glance. As mentioned before, Deadpool was a recurring character in the X- Mansion Soap Opera, so even though he wasn’t usually found in one of the main rooms, they weren’t as put off with seeing his ugly mug sat at their one of many breakfast bars.

By 11am Colossus moved on to doing laundry, making no comment at Wade who was quickly at his heels as he made his way to the laundry room. This was also very fascinating to watch as Piotr was the kind of person who folded clothes right out of the dryer. Not to mention he wiped out most of the items in the washer is one arm full aside from a few socks that escaped his grasp. Finally it was a few minutes to lunch and they made their way back into the kitchen.

Yukio and Ellie were back from practice, sitting in their respective stools, along with Russell sat to the left of them. The girls didn’t give him much of a hello apart from Yukio’s bright smile and small wave, but Russell was on his feet the moment he saw Wade.

“Wade! I didn’t know you were here! How’s it going? Do you need any help with any piece of shit scum on the streets?” Russell chirped excitedly, looking at Wade with hopeful eyes. Wade gave a small huff and a proud smile while Colossus called out a “language!” from his new spot at the fridge.

“Nah, nah, just dropping by for a small vacation,” Wade said, ruffling the boys messing hair before leaning down and stage whispering, “but I’ll let you know if anything comes through the grapevine and we can go slice some assholes wide open.” Satisfied with this answer. Russell went back to his stool and began making small talk with his fellow trainees.

Colossus had whipped up lunch in no time and the three teens piled high their respective plates. A few other young mutants came to collect their own food but didn’t stay, crawling back into whatever nook and cranny of the mansion they shimmied out of. Wade himself took nothing aside from another juice box. Berry medley this time, which is superior to apple. Once again he sat and watched Colossus work, making sure there was enough food for all those who were currently at the mansion and that all the dishes he was done with got put in soapy water as soon as possible so they wouldn’t crust over. Colossus didn’t seem to mind Wade's hawk eyes on him (haha get it like the aveng- nevermind). He knew the other man was watching, having glanced up a few times to make quick eye contact.

After everyone had finished up and placed their dishes in the sink before scurrying off Colossus finally turned to Wade head on.

"You didn't eat," he said simply. There was a moment of silence where he waited for Wade to explain but he never did. All he did was look at Colossus with wide eyes, eyebrows high as if to ask 'and?'. It was clear he wasn't going to explain himself, at least without a little prying. "You didn't eat breakfast." 

"Wasn't hungry." Wade repeated from this morning.

"And you didn't eat lunch."

"Wasn't hungry."

Colossus straightened up, rising to his full height, and crossed his arms over his chest. If sniffing out bullshit was an Olympic sport, Piotr would have at least a bronze medal. And if avoiding conversation about bullshit was an Olympic sport Wade would be solidly in the silver placement.

"Why are you lying, Wade." It was more of a demand than a question, but there was no harshness in his tone. 

"Why do you care?" Wade snapped, cocking an eyebrow and puffing his chest out (which was barely noticeable while he was drowning in Piotrs grandpappy sweater). He knew it was a stupid question. He knew exactly why the bootleg Iron Giant cared. But Wade was nothing if not stubborn so he unconsciously buried his foot in the theoretical dirt and refused to move.

Colossus let out a huff, letting his arms drop. "You came here to be helped, to take up offer of care. What kind of friend would I be letting you neglect important meals?" Letting out a huff of his own Wade metaphorically unburied his foot in the theoretical dirt.

"I'm not… good… at eating," he managed to get out, looking away from Colossus as he picked at the hem of the sweater, wishing his friend didn't take such immaculate care of his clothes, wishing he had stray threads to focus on.

"Like, I can do it, obviously, I'm just not good at making myself do it. It's like," he took a deep breath as Colossus sat down next to him, face soft and understanding, "not to throw the pity party of the year but I'm use to living off a meal a month, either by choice or by, well… not… choice," Wade trailed off, visibly uncomfortable. Colossus looked at him for a pregnant minute before finally responding.

"I have idea," he said finally, before hastily adding, "feel free to decline…"


	3. I Need Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> haha hey whats up guys-

They sat across the breakfast bar from each other. Well, kinda. Wade was sitting, having basically claimed one of the stools for his own, and Piotr was standing, leaning over the counter, hands on either side of a bowl of soup. Italian wedding, if Wade wasn’t mistaken.

“What if one of your X-Men buddies walks in,” Wade asks from his perch, “kinda scandalous if you ask me…” Colossus rolled his eyes as he pulled himself up, one of his hands reaching for the spoon next to the bowl.

“Nothing scandalous about this,” Piotr replies, saying nothing more as he got a good spoonful of the soup. Little meatballs and green leaves. Wade was right. Italian Wedding. He would've preferred chicken and dumpling but Italian Wedding was fine. Blowing on it gently he held it out for Wade, the act within itself almost making Wade cry out in laughter. Or emotion. This was too domestic, in a weird way.

He obliged though, taking the spoon into his mouth, eyes closed, a moan escaping his throat that would make any man who wasn’t Wade Wilson flush red. The first few spoonfuls were like this, Wade making loud sexual noises and strange faces. It stopped when he realized Colossus was giving no reaction, his attention purely on getting as much food in Wade's belly as he could in case the merc changed his mind and decides to take the bowl with the intent on pouring it on some poor student's head. This made Wade antsy, the attention creating a knot in his stomach, the situation making his hands sweats and fingers twitch, tension that was then soothed with each mouthful of soup. The situation was a strange combination of a kitten being bottle fed and a lion being thrown meat.

Homemade, Wade thinks, as he watches Piotr scoop up the last of it. Probably made by the man himself. A wave of disappointment hit him when he finished it off, watching Piotr turn to put it in the sink and spray it down with sad eyes. Why couldn’t the bowl have been bigger? Why couldn’t he have eaten slower? It was over way too soon and Wade could feel that knot in his stomach tightening again.

And as if Piotr could sense this he made a beeline to the fridge, not even sparing Wade a second of a glance. He turned back, hands behind himself as he looked around a bit, before setting what looked like a single serve pizza with just mozzarella onto the counter.

“Vatrushka,” he says simply, “Sometimes when I get homesick I make some, I promise it tastes good. Is like cheesecake.” A slice was cut for the both of them and Wade didn’t wait for Piotr to even reach for his own fork before digging in with his own, not wanting to wait to see if he’d also be hand fed dessert. It would’ve been nice, yeah, but if there was one type of food that Wade didn’t find eating difficult, it was sweet food. And although the writer has never had vatrushka himself, you can’t go wrong with cheesecake so it probably tastes good enough to scarf down like a ravenous animal. Or a ravenous Deadpool.

So consumed with the treat in front of him, Wade didn’t notice the look Piotr was giving him. Soft, amused, a look Wade would’ve loved to poke fun of. So emotionally raw and open, so Piotr. The other plate was pushed to Wade's side of the counter as it was being cleaned off. Wade looked up to Colossus, who wasted no time explaining the gesture. “I’m not hungry, I only took some out of courtesy. Please, eat.” 

When night came it was almost no different from the first. Colossus gave Wade a warning look when he let the oversized sweats drop from his hips, and was met with defensive hands and a quick scurry under the covers. There were still wandering hands and quiet snarky remarks, but other than that Wade behaved well, just like yesterday. 

It wasn’t surprising when Piotr woke to a leg thrown over his stomach and Wade half hanging off the bed. It was a bit surprising when Wade came up to Colossus with a plate of cut up blueberry pancakes and a fork the next morning once the others had left the kitchen, though.

“I’m not going to feed you every day,” Piotr says with raised eyebrows, holding out a piece of pancake, which Wade ate post haste. He was sat on 'his stool' again, Piotr back to his spot from across the counter.

“Yah, m’ know,” Wade said before swallowing, Piotr doubting he had even chewed the first piece before opening his mouth for another. “It’s jus’... nice? Y’know? I’ll eat dinner by myself, promise,” he said through the second bite, successful in getting Piotr to focus on feeding him. It was already noon, so he was pretty complacent with each bite due to hunger.

Dinner. He’s going to eat dinner. And Piotr didn’t have to convince him at all.

“Why don’t you like to eat, Wade.” Colossus asked cautiously, letting his curiosity get the better of him. Wade pushed off from the stool, eyeing him just as cautiously. He rounded the counter until they stood chest to chest. Well, chest to stomach… but that’s not the point right now!

“Listen,” he said, eyes staring hard into Piotrs, still cautious but with a touch of anger, of fear, “don’t think that just because you gave me your stupid little Russian cheesecake yesterday and let me sleep in your big stupid bed that I’m going to open up to you like this is some romcom that’s making fun of other romcoms but does a shit job because it’s literally just another romcom." Breathing heavily, he took a step back before continuing. “That’s not how this is going to work, you’re not going to get to dissect my fucked up life that easily.” 

There was only a second of them staring at each other before Wade realized what he had said, what he was doing. Eyes shooting down, his hands going to hem of the shirt he’s wearing. Another one of Colossus’. He didn’t ask this morning but Piotr didn’t say anything. It was comfortable. It was suffocating. He glanced to the window, kids running past in trainee shirts and seasoned X-Men watching other them.

“Training is starting. You better get out there,” Wade mumbles before turning on his heel and making his way to the stairs. Piotr looked out the window himself, just for a second, but when he turned back Wade had already made his way to the second floor.  
-

None of his shirts had frayed hems, Wade found out. It was just as unsurprising as it was disappointing. He made his way to the large bed, glaring at it before crawling in. Stupid comfy bed that smelled like stupid fucking Colossus who smelled stupidly amazing and always left his bed really stupidly warm. 

Wade didn’t feel particularly bad about his little ‘freak out’ that happened in the kitchen a few hours ago, though he did regret it a bit, like getting really mad at your dad for something small but then he makes his bang ass chili for dinner that he knows you really like so he regret getting so mad at him. Colossus probably made bang ass chili. The kind that wasn’t White Person Chili, that wasn’t exactly spicy but had some flavor, some bop to it that made it slap really hard.

As good as the chili was though. Wade doubted he’d eat it. He wasn’t lying when he said he wasn’t ‘good at eating’. Even the last two meals were pushing it and he doubted he could eat another without risking vomiting all over the X-Mansion. Vanessa was good about it, though, when she was still around. She understood it, told him she used to have problems with eating too, and helped him start the first steps to recovery that she herself had done. Breakfast drink in the morning, a good sized lunch at noon, and as much as he could stomach during dinner time. And he was doing well, really well, until she- then he couldn’t uphold the schedule anymore. Nothing for breakfast, a soda and some chips for lunch, maybe a thing of Reese’s Pieces, then alcohol and either half a Walmart made pound cake or some shit filled fast food.

The idea of anyone helping him like she did, anyone trying to replicate what she could do for him, it made him… mad. So upset and angry he could cry.

“That’s what you do, Ness,” he said softly, face smooshed in one of the pillows, “That’s what you did. He can’t. He can’t just-”

Let him, she would say, let him take care of you, stop being so stubborn. I couldn’t have picked a better person to take care of your sorry ass after I’m gone. She’d be smiling, but with a serious look in her eyes. He wouldn’t be able to say no, he never could. He knew she was right.

“Fine,” he grumbled, stuffing his face harder into the pillow, “I’ll try, I’ll be nice and let him play house and take care of me like a shitty baby, but- I’m scared, Ness… I’m scared he won’t… understand… not like… you did.” He cut himself off with a yawn before letting himself fall asleep. “Thanks Ness,” he whispered before letting himself be consumed by darkness

-

Piotr found Wade curled up in his bed, snoring softly and drooling a bit on the pillow that was in the vice grip that was his arms. There were shirts strowned on the floor in front of his closet along with the sweatpants Wade had picked out for the day.

Before making his way into bed as well he put all the shirts back into his closet and placed the sweats into the clothes bin. For some reason he felt a pang of sadness that Wade was so close to the edge of the bed, that there was no need to lift him and scoot him over, that he wasn’t star fishing or seeking out Colossus’ body heat with every part of his body he deemed too cold. It too Piotr longer than usual to fall asleep, his eyes finally closing as he watched the sleeping form that was too far away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this took!! a long time to get out im so sorry,,, i lost the hyperfixation and it made writing this really really hard but im gonna try to get the next one out much quicker
> 
> i hope u guys like it!!! i feel like the chapters keep getting less and less funnier and progressivly more shitty but,,, i dunno, feel free to leave critisism or pointers if you want im open to it.... yah boys rusty

**Author's Note:**

> okay im reposting this bc i can. i changed my goal with the story and wanted to change things up in the first chapter so,,, new slate,, also the name was let me get closer but i dont remember what that referenced so...


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